It is now the 6th anniversary of the swissair tragedy. I cannot believe that my daughter Tara is dead for that long. Her death has totally destroyed any joy I am able to feel towards life. I am still not able to look at her pictures although I was forced to recently because we moved and many of them fell out of a box that was packed a year after her death. I loved that kid so much it physically makes me hurt to even look at her. To think of what that horrible airline and the other greedy individuals did to her that terrible night- to us as a family for the past 6 years, is more than I personally can bare. Very few people frankly give a damn. It wasn't their kid- ˜get over it' they think. If they only understood the horrific pain this has caused, they wouldn't dare have the nerve to say such a callous thing. There are plenty of people in the world who suffer every day of their lives because they've lost a child, whether it be through illness or an accident or through the careless or intentional actions of others. My heart goes out to them. Everytime I hear of a mother losing a child I feel just devastated for them. I know the pain and emptiness they will face. I know how people around them will never understand their anger and sadness and they will be left to suffer alone.

I am lost without Tara in my life. What do I want? Those responsible for this tragedy punished through the courts so that they can never again do this to anyone else's child. It's not going to happen. I've had to face and accept this and it is not an easy thing to do. As I've said in another post recently, I heard from someone who said that they believe that some of the unsavory individuals who were responsible for this crash are still working in the industry doing the wrong thing. He thought a few of these people might be working at his company and he was very concerned. We provided him with names so he could check but never heard from him again so we have no idea of what transpired afterwards if anything. We hope he wasn't pulling our chain. We've certainly been the recipient of the craziness of people over the past few years.

We had one woman that suddenly last spring called us on the phone at 3am and at other odd times, all the way from Hawaii (her caller ID was that of a famous bass fisherman) telling us how terrorists caused the swissair crash. She even claimed to have written a letter to the FBI and unfortunately mentioned us in her crazy rantings. I can't tell you how violated I felt by this sicko not to mention afraid. She was extremely aggressive (and possibly drunk) and both Mark and I had to block her emails, and eventually our phone to get her to stop. At one point she said something that sent chills through me. She said, ˜hadn't the entertainment system people paid enough for what they did?' Huh? Like in what way? Her ID disappeared off of AOL (kimberleigh) . She claimed she had been a flight attendant but it was pretty obvious that she was not. I have no idea why out of the blue – 5 and a half years later she got obsessed with the swissair crash. As far as I could tell, she had nothing to do with it. Though she said she is an American I'm pretty sure that she was Canadian because at one point she gave us a list of publications where she claimed to get her ˜information' and they were all only published in Canada plus her ID which was unusual matched up with one being used in Canada. Oh yes and then there was the one who claimed to see Tara in her house after the crash... One woman started a group to help victims' families place flowers out in the waters of Peggy's Cove. She had this announced in her local paper. I naively gave her money to run the organization only to realize later that the funds were probably used to finance a car and a home. I probably never would have known this except she asked for more money and that raised my suspicions. The strange stories are endless. There were some very good people as well that were a tremendous help to us. They do not wish to take any credit or be named.

What kind of a kid was Tara? Unbelievable really. Admired by the other kids in the school she was attending and by teachers alike. Adored by her family. We depended on her so much it was like someone came and shot us all after she was brutally killed in the crash. We've barely been able to cope with her death. She brought us so much joy with her good humor and she was just full of life. Tara was always excited about things going on around her and her enthusiasm was contageous. When I got sick with breast cancer she did the one thing she knew that I would care about which was worked very hard in school and kept her grades up. When she got an A on a math test she would call me from school to let me know. When I felt horrible from just receiving a chemo treatment she would come and sit on my bed and tell me about what was going on in her life. She was always so exciting and interesting it was a pleasure to listen to what she had to say. Without her I don't know how I would have gotten through those difficult years. I've now come to think of them as the best years of my life though I certainly never thought I would at the time. I was worried about surviving long enough to see my kids grow up. How ironic and terrible. A mother is not meant to outlive her kids. It is just too horrible. Words just don't begin to describe what Tara meant to me. Everytime I try to write them down I just can't think of a way to express it. Losing a child is the worse thing in the world..

I have thought about writing a book about Tara, the swissair tragedy and what it did
to my family but the truth is I don't think anyone would read it. There is no happy ending. There is no light at the end of the tunnel. Just endless years of pain and sorrow. The only good purpose I think it would possibly serve is that maybe if those that are involved in the industry read it, just maybe they might think twice about cutting a corner when it comes to safety. Doing just one sloppy thing could lead to the deaths of many and the destruction of their surviving families. It will never get written. It's just far too upsetting to even really discuss Tara in much detail and many of the things that happened following her death are far too personal and painful to publish. Actually what would be interesting is a book with several stories about people who lost children in air tragedies and how they coped. I've heard of some pretty horrible stuff about other mothers in the swissair crash as well as other such tragedies. It could possibly make those who are in charge of safety think more in terms of the humanity and loss of life rather than the current thinking of how safety measures have to be determined by the FAA's use of the ˜cost-benefit ratio'.

To those of you who participated in causing this tragedy, I don't know how you live with yourselves. You have no idea of how much your greed has caused many people acute and never-ending pain. To those people who work in the industry and care about safety, you have my complete admiration because your task is huge. The decisions you make everyday have no doubt kept many passengers safe.

The swissair tragedy should never have occurred. Tara should be alive as should be all those poor souls that were on that horrific flight. The reasons swissair crashed are despicable and inexcusable. Let's hope that nothing like this ever happens again but pardon me if I am skeptical. Very little has changed in the industry. My heart goes out to all those that continue to suffer as a result of this avoidable tragedy on this 6th anniversary of the crash. There were clearly not only 229 victims that day.

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Barbara, it is a privilege to know your daughter through what you have written about her. Bless your courage for sharing it, together with your passionate, painful feelings of loss, which somehow - while connecting with my own emotions - have also made me more appreciative of the good things in my life. Go ahead: write your book if you really want to.

Thanks Ivy. My heart goes out to you and your family. Ivy I just wanted to thank you for stopping in and posting now and then. I really appreciate that.

Barbara

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I did want to add one thing. I coped fine with breast cancer- didn't set me back at all and I actually had 2 cancers at once that had to be treated differently. I really tried to live it up and set a good example for my kids. I didn't want them to worry about me so we kept extra busy and did some neat things during that time. I also coped okay with my father's death years earlier. But losing a kid? I would be dishonest if I said everything was great. It is devastating and there is just no way to gloss over it. I've had to move forward (what else can you do?) after Tara was killed because I had a 12 year old to take care of mostly by myself for the first couple of years. I think it is important to be honest with this because if just one person involved in the industry reads this they may take safety even more seriously.

Barbara, my thoughts and prayers go out to you, Mark and your daughter. I am also thinking of
Lyn Romano and her two boys, and of course,
her husband Ray.

I'm sending you all 8 yellow roses in thought
and rememberance.

You are so right, there were more than 229 victims of the Swissair tragedy.

Kind regards,
J.O

Barbara, I neglected in my post above to mention
your daughter Tara. She was, of course, in my mind when I posted.

Kind regards,
J.O

Barbara, Mark (and Amy as well) have shown an incredible amount of strength during this entire ordeal. Being a mother, I have never professed to come close to understanding what it must take for Babs to pull herself up each day or even close her eyes each night. I've told her for years now, "I do not ever want to know your pain first hand". She knows exactly what I mean when I say that too.

Who would have thought a mother who lost a beautiful child to this horrible tragedy, and a woman who lost the love of her real life, her husband Ray, would have forged such an incredible bond as Barbara and I have? We still talk about that to this day..We've pretty much "decided" our bond became so strong because of the intense love we have for "our babies". Whatever the reason, we have been pulling each other away from the edge for (3 weeks shy of) 6 years now. I thank God for her every day and night, because without her strength and ability to speak out right along with me over all these years, I'm not at all sure I'd be able to type this message this night.

No one could possibly understand the horrors we've both faced over the years. Some of those horrors stemming from the fact that we "marched to the beat of a different drum" by not allowing others to speak on our behalf or because we simply couldn't follow along when we knew it wasn't what Tara or Ray would have wanted. I told Barbara just the other day "we should be proud of what we've been able to accomplish, not only as it applies to aviation safety issues, but for Tara and Ray on a personal basis as well".

Considering neither of us knew/know how we're able to continue breathing, and the fact that we were not very "popular" with many of the swissair family members, we did what we did for Tara and Ray - NOT - for ourselves. That did take courage Babs...

I haven't been able to come here as often lately, due to some recent additional difficulties that have presented themselves. Babs and I "speak" every day thru email though and whenever possible, by phone - so she knows why I haven't been here in quite awhile. I've taken some time to read several of the posts and I wanted to thank all those who've taken the time to 'touch' Barbara, Mark and Amy with incredibly warm sentiments. A special thank you goes out to J.O. - how kind of you to remember/mention my boys and I. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

I could go on and on, but I believe it's best I close now. Barbara? I love you (more)..

Always,

L
www.iasa-intl.com
(established in memory of Raymond M. Romano, passenger on swissair Flight 111, Seat 9F)

J.O. Thanks so much for your very kind words. I'm glad that you took the time to post this to us and hope you will be back when you are able. It's always very nice to hear from you.

Lyn, thanks to you for always being there for me. I don't know what I would have done without your support throughout these hellish years because we truly did not relate well to any of the other family members. I just can't help but be shocked for example that everyone seemed to have disappeared when the final report came out. Actually long before that. The only exception I can think of is Mr. Shaw whom I have never met but can feel his pain through his words regarding the loss of his beloved young daughter. I have to admit the lack of response to me was appalling but I suppose I should leave that to the privacy of our email exchanges. Much love to you Lyn.

Again J.O. I want to express my appreciation for your understanding of just how devastating this terrible tragedy is to us. It is really nice to know that there are kind people out there who really care.

Barbara

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Tara would have been 23 today. She never even got a chance at having a life due to a few selfish people who not only endangered those passengers who were killed on Flight 111, but every person who flew on swissair's MD-11s and were equipped with an entertainment system that shouldn't have even been installed on those jets in the first place. Her family misses her horribly especially today, a day that should have been filled with joy and now has been replaced with terrible sorrow.

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I've read all entries on this forum and admire your courage and dedication. Dealing with people like C. Leduc (see another thread called ˜introducing myself') doesn't make it any easier. I didn't understand what he was trying to say, I've never heard anything about another independent enquiry into SR111. As far as I know the Swiss authorities delegated everything to the Canadians, just as they took over aircraft operational certification procedures from the FAA in the USA.

Barbara, I sympathise with your tragic loss and understand your desire to see those responsible brought to justice, but I don't think it will ever happen. In my opinion only one person was primarily responsible for the Halifax disaster and he is now dead: Otto Loepfe, Swissair president from 1988 to 1997. He was an engineer with management ambitions, a pleasant enough character but really out of his depth as leader of a large multinational company. His lack of confidence led to reliance on external advisors such as McKinsey whose advice, particularly the massive investments in foreign airlines, eventually brought Swissair to ruin.

The Swissair board blindly followed other Mckinsey recommendations, the most significant for our purposes being cutbacks at the maintenance base. This resulted in severe manpower shortages, so much so that mechanics from a rival airline had to be brought in. For the first time in the history of Swissair aircraft were being worked on by non Swissair trained mechanics, this was also the case with the IFEN installation.

I met Loepfe on several occasions; once when asked by concerned employees about the direction that Swissair was taking he replied ˜we in management are gamblers.' Certainly the decision to fit IFEN was a massive gamble. At the time I was flying the 747, the last aircraft in the Swissair fleet to have Flight Engineers. These dedicated professionals were appalled by the makeshift way that IFEN was fitted. I heard that on the MD11 the wiring bundle was pulled through the cockpit bulkhead by block and tackle. Imagine the strain that this put on the wires – no wonder they short-circuited. The system worked reasonably well on the 747, probably because of better processor cooling by the more powerful air conditioning system, but we had no documentation on how or where it was wired into the aircraft electrics. Cockpit control was as on the MD11 - only by circuit breaker.

Loepfe became irrational in his final months with Swissair. Mckinsey had of course advised on massive personnel cost reductions, at one meeting I attended he ranted at overpaid pilots and how he could replace us with east European or lesser qualified Swiss crews at a fraction of our salaries – something that Moritz Suter did at Crossair with tragic results. Loepfe left Swissair for IATA but died of a brain tumour shortly thereafter.

I know how it is to lose a loved one, I have also suffered in my private life, I knew many of the crew of SR111, I'm still bitter at the terrible tragedy. However I believe that retribution and the desire for revenge will achieve nothing. I think it's time to move on and enjoy what one can of our remaining time. Loepfe is dead, the other characters have disappeared or have made sure that they are well protected by the Swiss establishment – they call it the ˜Filz' which means ˜cosy fleece'. The Canadians completed a thorough investigation and much has been changed as a result – that's positive. Taking legal action against managers following an aviation accident is difficult. The Swiss government are doing this in the cases of the two Crossair crashes; I don't think that they will achieve anything - those responsible have already resigned. Similarly I don't think that anyone in the FAA or Santa Barbara could be prosecuted – there's not enough concrete evidence, people have covered their tracks or are too well protected.

These things happened, it was tragic, we've hopefully learned from them, let's look to the future.

BF - I will begin by telling you that for the month of Sep 98, I spent my days searching the coastline and Islands around Peggs Cove, as a Team Capt of our Ground Search and Rescue Team. I have 2 daughters myself, and one near Tara's age. I cannot imagine my mind state if my children were on the flight. I can only say I am very sorry, for her your loss. I would like to tell you though that for me personally the Swiss Air search is burned into my memory. I will not go into details but that month of my life lives with me each day. It is hard to get on a plane or even see one fly. I like to think that my time there somehow helped you the families. I personally met some of you at the memorial celabrations at the Halifax Civc Center. We hugged and cried together. I pray for all you families, and for my fellow searchers. If you would like to email me that is fine. God be with you all..

John, Thank you so much for your thoughts and your efforts during the search operation. And thank you so very much for understanding just how devastating this is. You're a good person.

With tremendous appreciation,

Barbara

Barbara - Thank you for that nice comment. I don't like to be a burden or bother the families. But it is nice after 5 years to talk to a family member again. As a searcher we didn't have much interaction during it all. I have kept in contact with my old team members. Some have had problems after, but we talk and work through it. The RCMP Critical incident stress people were excellent for us. I personally visited them after each of those long days. If you or your family ever make it back east, I would love to have you all over to my place in Charlottetown for a coffee and talk. Just look me up in the phone book, or drop an email.

Thank you John- that is very nice of you. I don't know if I will ever be there but I will surely remember your generous invitation with great appreciation. Please send my regards and thanks to those people you keep in touch with. I don't think any of us will ever get this terrible tragedy out of our minds. You'll all always be in my heart.

Barbara

quote:

I met Loepfe on several occasions; once when asked by concerned employees about the direction that Swissair was taking he replied ˜we in management are gamblers.' Certainly the decision to fit IFEN was a massive gamble. At the time I was flying the 747, the last aircraft in the Swissair fleet to have Flight Engineers. These dedicated professionals were appalled by the makeshift way that IFEN was fitted.

Chris, It was my understanding from a very reliable source that it was the s'airgroup's board of directors (Philippe Bruggisser, Mario Corti - Nestle's CFO; Rainer Gut, - chairman of Nestles; Eric Honegger - a former Zurich politician; and Lukas Muhlemann - chairman of Credit Suisse.) after conferring with Bruggisser, who made the decision to purchase the IFEN.

quote:

Similarly I don't think that anyone in the FAA or Santa Barbara could be prosecuted – there's not enough concrete evidence, people have covered their tracks or are too well protected.

One thing I did want to say to this comment is that there is plenty of concrete evidence against many of these individuals, it's just that the prosecutors seem to have no interest in it whatsoever. Probably partly because some of the people involved do have way too much power and influence as you have inferred. It didn't help that Judge Giles (who presided over the swissair lawsuits) basically never allowed any discovery. Another problem is that it is very complicated and hard to get anyone to listen for 5 minutes to what actually happened.

Not true Barbara.

IFE approached Swissair in '94 and '95 but were initially rejected. In '96 a letter of intent was signed and installation started on the MD11 fleet. Throughout this period Otto Loepfe was President. Bruggisser became CEO in '97.

I still maintain that Loepfe and his board were ultimately responsible for the disaster at Halifax.

Sources:

Der Fall Swissair, Rene Luchinger, Bilanz
Swissair 1931-2002, Urs von Schreder, Huber
Black Box Swissair, various authors, Limmat
Canadian TSB report

Chris, Do you know who was on his board?
Barbara

Barbara

It will take me some time to get the full list as I didn't keep the old Annual Reports, but if you start with:

Hannes Goetz
Otto Loepfe
Rainer E Gut
Thomas Schmidheiny
Benedict Hentsch
Lukas Muehlemann

You've got the main players.

Chris

quote:

Thomas Schmidheiny

Thanks Chris for the information! Now that name in particular is interesting.