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Originally posted by BF:
It is now the 6th anniversary of the swissair tragedy. I cannot believe that my daughter Tara is dead for that long. Her death has totally destroyed any joy I am able to feel towards life. I am still not able to look at her pictures although I was forced to recently because we moved and many of them fell out of a box that was packed a year after her death. I loved that kid so much it physically makes me hurt to even look at her. To think of what that horrible airline and the other greedy individuals did to her that terrible night- to us as a family for the past 6 years, is more than I personally can bare. Very few people frankly give a damn. It wasn't their kid- ˜get over it' they think. If they only understood the horrific pain this has caused, they wouldn't dare have the nerve to say such a callous thing. There are plenty of people in the world who suffer every day of their lives because they've lost a child, whether it be through illness or an accident or through the careless or intentional actions of others. My heart goes out to them. Everytime I hear of a mother losing a child I feel just devastated for them. I know the pain and emptiness they will face. I know how people around them will never understand their anger and sadness and they will be left to suffer alone.

I am lost without Tara in my life. What do I want? Those responsible for this tragedy punished through the courts so that they can never again do this to anyone else's child. It's not going to happen. I've had to face and accept this and it is not an easy thing to do. As I've said in another post recently, I heard from someone who said that they believe that some of the unsavory individuals who were responsible for this crash are still working in the industry doing the wrong thing. He thought a few of these people might be working at his company and he was very concerned. We provided him with names so he could check but never heard from him again so we have no idea of what transpired afterwards if anything. We hope he wasn't pulling our chain. We've certainly been the recipient of the craziness of people over the past few years.

We had one woman that suddenly last spring called us on the phone at 3am and at other odd times, all the way from Hawaii (her caller ID was that of a famous bass fisherman) telling us how terrorists caused the swissair crash. She even claimed to have written a letter to the FBI and unfortunately mentioned us in her crazy rantings. I can't tell you how violated I felt by this sicko not to mention afraid. She was extremely aggressive (and possibly drunk) and both Mark and I had to block her emails, and eventually our phone to get her to stop. At one point she said something that sent chills through me. She said, ˜hadn't the entertainment system people paid enough for what they did?' Huh? Like in what way? Her ID disappeared off of AOL (kimberleigh) . She claimed she had been a flight attendant but it was pretty obvious that she was not. I have no idea why out of the blue – 5 and a half years later she got obsessed with the swissair crash. As far as I could tell, she had nothing to do with it. Though she said she is an American I'm pretty sure that she was Canadian because at one point she gave us a list of publications where she claimed to get her ˜information' and they were all only published in Canada plus her ID which was unusual matched up with one being used in Canada. Oh yes and then there was the one who claimed to see Tara in her house after the crash... One woman started a group to help victims' families place flowers out in the waters of Peggy's Cove. She had this announced in her local paper. I naively gave her money to run the organization only to realize later that the funds were probably used to finance a car and a home. I probably never would have known this except she asked for more money and that raised my suspicions. The strange stories are endless. There were some very good people as well that were a tremendous help to us. They do not wish to take any credit or be named.

What kind of a kid was Tara? Unbelievable really. Admired by the other kids in the school she was attending and by teachers alike. Adored by her family. We depended on her so much it was like someone came and shot us all after she was brutally killed in the crash. We've barely been able to cope with her death. She brought us so much joy with her good humor and she was just full of life. Tara was always excited about things going on around her and her enthusiasm was contageous. When I got sick with breast cancer she did the one thing she knew that I would care about which was worked very hard in school and kept her grades up. When she got an A on a math test she would call me from school to let me know. When I felt horrible from just receiving a chemo treatment she would come and sit on my bed and tell me about what was going on in her life. She was always so exciting and interesting it was a pleasure to listen to what she had to say. Without her I don't know how I would have gotten through those difficult years. I've now come to think of them as the best years of my life though I certainly never thought I would at the time. I was worried about surviving long enough to see my kids grow up. How ironic and terrible. A mother is not meant to outlive her kids. It is just too horrible. Words just don't begin to describe what Tara meant to me. Everytime I try to write them down I just can't think of a way to express it. Losing a child is the worse thing in the world..

I have thought about writing a book about Tara, the swissair tragedy and what it did
to my family but the truth is I don't think anyone would read it. There is no happy ending. There is no light at the end of the tunnel. Just endless years of pain and sorrow. The only good purpose I think it would possibly serve is that maybe if those that are involved in the industry read it, just maybe they might think twice about cutting a corner when it comes to safety. Doing just one sloppy thing could lead to the deaths of many and the destruction of their surviving families. It will never get written. It's just far too upsetting to even really discuss Tara in much detail and many of the things that happened following her death are far too personal and painful to publish. Actually what would be interesting is a book with several stories about people who lost children in air tragedies and how they coped. I've heard of some pretty horrible stuff about other mothers in the swissair crash as well as other such tragedies. It could possibly make those who are in charge of safety think more in terms of the humanity and loss of life rather than the current thinking of how safety measures have to be determined by the FAA's use of the ˜cost-benefit ratio'.

To those of you who participated in causing this tragedy, I don't know how you live with yourselves. You have no idea of how much your greed has caused many people acute and never-ending pain. To those people who work in the industry and care about safety, you have my complete admiration because your task is huge. The decisions you make everyday have no doubt kept many passengers safe.

The swissair tragedy should never have occurred. Tara should be alive as should be all those poor souls that were on that horrific flight. The reasons swissair crashed are despicable and inexcusable. Let's hope that nothing like this ever happens again but pardon me if I am skeptical. Very little has changed in the industry. My heart goes out to all those that continue to suffer as a result of this avoidable tragedy on this 6th anniversary of the crash. There were clearly not only 229 victims that day.